Me

This is something I wrote to a friend.. we were talking about soulmates, mostly. While typing it, I connected the ideas together and gained deeper insights on it, and also on myself.. They're two e-mails so it'll sound a little disjointed.

I just believe that somehow, it [the idea of a soulmate] will work out for me. Yeah it's illogical, throw me all the logic in the world,.. but I'm not denying it's illogical. I know it is. But so what? As if everything can be understood by our itty bitty brains. Just cause my mind can't rationalize it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist or can't happen. And I can't talk for everyone, others are just willing to settle so how does any of this apply to them? Others are just crappy shallow people, so whatever to them. I just have faith in it for myself.
Logic can be so overstated.. who do we think we are, that we can understand something as great and as complex as the universe and all the things that go on in it?
I'm not saying that we shouldn't be rational and shit either, of course we should be. I just don't want to be limited to it and I want to go far beyond it! Because I believe that there is so much that exists in this world that doesn't really make sense to us. Maybe in the future a lot of it will cause our brains are always developing, and science too. Still, I don't think we can ever understand everything.
So anyway my point is that no one knows, you don't, I don't -- we just think we do and at the end of the day, we choose to believe in whatever we want to. If we didn't like the idea in any way, we wouldn't believe in it.
And since I really think it's like that anyway, that no one knows shit, then I might as well trust some of the things I feel and want to believe in.


Dreams can happen, you know. Just not all of them.. and they're hard and exhausting to believe in.. they also take quite a long time to happen, so yeah, it's easier to just not believe for many.

You'll see, I'll tell you about my life someday and it will be amazing. I'll probably have to settle and give up some of my dreams, I know that's gonna have to happen for sure. But at the end of the day, I'd still be living SOME of my dreams, I'll still have not TOTALLY settled, I'll still have a greater purpose and my life will be so different from everyone else's! It will be greater! Maybe not on worldly terms -- success, money, stable home life and shit.. but on my terms.. whatever makes ME happy. :)

So yeah, if we keep talking, you'll see. My life has already been a teensy weensy bit like my dream anyway, these past few months. So it's possible.

Haha. :) Yup, I feel so happy reading it. A few months ago, this wouldn't have come out from me. I just didn't have a lot of faith in myself, didn't think things could actually work out. But now I have a lot of passion for life.. it's difficult to see certain things in the world many times, a lot of things bother me. Today I saw a skinny dog walking on the sidewalk of a main road and I felt quite bad.. things like that really disturb me. Anyway, yeah all these things really suck, but I want to live anyway. I am hungry, thirsty! And I have a lot of dreams! Just have to work hard, have faith and see where life will take me.

I'm writing all this stuff and I should be studying!! Ahhh.. okay, gonna go now.